Tuesday January 1, 2026

In June of 2025 videos surfaced of a mother testifying that the death of her child was caused by the actions of a pastor of a church located at 155 Wyllys St, Hartford, CT 06106 . Some of the speculations surrounding the pastor are as follows…

Administering Gender Affirming Care medical devices and puberty blockers illegally to minors and multiple children without parental consent, at a secret location, while the legal guardians are purposely kept in the dark about their children’s whereabouts and safety. 

I do not support the actions of this pastor. The pastor is a transgender man. Why hasn’t the transgender community in the state of CT come out to discuss the videos?

Recently my activism and achievements regarding transgender issues have made me a target that attracts people who want to co-opt my work for their own agenda. 

I am the researcher who amplified Hartford’s connection to Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDoR) that’s been cited in an article covered by the Courant. 

Since the surfacing of these videos regarding this pastor, individuals have suddenly and miraculously loved bombed me. I have been asked four times to affiliate myself with this pastor's church.

First I was asked to include him and his church in my TDoR 2025 event that took place outside of city hall. My answer was no.

Secondly, during the week leading up to my event outside of city hall a psychologist from Hartford Psychological Services, who's oath is to keep people safe, printed my flyer on the back of a memo for this pastor's church without telling me, and distributed it. Disrespectful and irresponsible!

Thirdly, on the day of my event outside of city hall I was handed a business card for this pastor's church by two of his church followers.

Fourthly, I was then tagged in an email sent to this pastor that insinuated I would be part of an estate planning event at his church, which I am NOT.

In all my years of local activism not once have I been in contact with this pastor, nor have we ever spoken face to face. I believe it's because God was protecting me. Why hasn’t the transgender community in the state of CT come out to discuss these videos regarding this pastor? Is there not a single transgender person in the state of CT willing to hear the mothers side of the story?

My estate planning advocacy is literally about affirmation and consent. I have a chosen family member who identified, in her own words, as Sissified. Upon death she was stripped of her affirmation, garbed in a suit, and memorialized as a man which has been published in an obituary

.

Emmett Till was a 14 year old African American child who was lynched. His mother understood that his funeral needed to be an open casket so that the world could see and take action. When I attempt to do the same by showcasing my lost loved ones obituary, I am called transphobic by the transgender community, and have been accused of dead naming her. I was gaslighted into not taking a photo of my lost loved one in her casket.

Because the transgender community is not willing to step into conversations about the history of racism we are missing out on opportunities that advance all of us. This same sentiment was used to discredit me on social media when I created the flag that honors Hartford's connection to TDoR.

I understand that what I’m working on may be distressing for some people. Therefore we need to evaluate ourselves, and step aside when something is beyond our emotional capacity so that those who are qualified and able to do so can.

Something I’ve overcome and learned during my advocacy for accessible estate planning is that I can’t control other people's feelings or what they think of me. My duty is to step into the realness and reality of the work, and let everyone be responsible for processing their own discomfort.

The identity politics at play in New England are extremely dangerous. I have repeatedly encountered Oppression Olympics that transgender people are “the most marginalized” and that I cannot possibly learn, grow, or perform this work simply because I am not transgender. This toxic behavior is used to shut down the conversations needed to benefit everyone. Especially when those conversations include intersectionality and racism.

I’m not asking people to like me, just get the work done. It seems people are more focused on being likable, famous, and popular rather than getting work done. 

Why hasn’t the transgender community in the state of CT come out to discuss the videos regarding this pastor?

Don’t tell me that trans people are the most marginalized. Don’t tell me that trans people need to stick together and stay silent because of how embarrassing this pastor makes the transgender community look. Don’t tell me trans people know what’s best, or that trans people are more qualified simply because they’re transgender.

This pastor's church is located near the same apartment complex where the trans woman who inspired our nation's first ever TDoR grew up. Yet this transgender pastor and his church knew nothing about Hartford's historical ties to TDoR until I brought it to light. So again, don’t tell me that trans people know more than others simply because they’re transgender. Why hasn’t the transgender community in the state of CT come out to discuss the videos regarding this pastor?

Recently I was a co-organizer for a rally in New York to educate and advocate for sex workers, in which consent and boundaries are a major shared value in the sex worker rights movement. Once again proving that shutting down these conversations hurts all of us.

If you are a parent or legal guardian I wish there was a group, organization, or institution practicing safer, parental inclusive education that centers sexuality, gender, sex, orientation, and the anti-racism work needed to keep our youth, children, and babies safe. Focus on Self Affirmation because there are ZERO places in the entire state of CT that I can faithfully recommend to you at this time.

I'm a Black gay male who cares about the safety of children. What's everyone's thoughts on the videos regarding this pastor? Please speak out.

Wednesday October 22, 2025

Recently I watched a rare 1988 interview of a masculine presenting Marsha P. Johnson that I loved because it challenges our modern perceptions of Marsha P. Johnson's gender identity and the ways we use legacies to fit our current agendas. 

I am a gay, homosexual, sapiosexual, male who identifies as a man, that expresses myself in non-conforming ways. By the end of the interview there was something that resonated with me.

In the video Marsha P. Johnson expresses the challenges of compensation, job security, and work. How is it that the work of an activist like Marsha P. Johnson, who's contributions to Black and queer liberation is so impactful, be unpaid? 

Why is that we live in a world where we can pay people to clock in from nine to five for corporations that pollute the Earth with toxins and waste, but activism that supports human beings isn't considered work worth paying for? Why haven't our views and perceptions of work changed?

Right now I am doing research on proclamations. I am learning that advocating for a proclamation to be conducted in a way that supports the needs of community will take lots of work and lots of my time to achieve. I am advocating for anti-violence, making food more accessible, developing shelters, housing that are safe, practicing safer ways of educating, centering specific types of self help and affirming care such as estate planning and legacy arrangements that accurately aligns, reflects, and respects who we are as human beings.

The proclamation is for Transgender Day of Remembrance. Does reading a proclamation achieve the list of needs I'm advocating for? Are proclamations legally binding? How do proclamations hold us accountable? How will this proclamation inform the public on Rita Hester, Transgender Day of Remembrance, Connecticut history, the work of all parties involved, and the further actions needed if it is not issued a press release?

Yet when I mention a proclamation peoples eyes light up and get excited? 

Are the proclamations kept on file or are proclamations simply issued to keep the people happy and content? I asked Hartford City Hall to show me the last ten proclamations issued by the mayor for my research. They were able to provide me with zero. Why is a government institution issuing citations without keeping record?

Recently my grandmother Nancy J. Adams and I have been abruptly separated and displaced from the north end of Hartford due to property purchases and tripled rent increases. There is no law that protects residents from such rent increases. She has suffered from what's being called Relocation Stress Syndrome (RSS) which is apparently common in our elderly populations. I have advocated for a Displacement Awareness Month. 

Thus far I have dedicated a large portion of my life to activism. If I could show up for community in a way that puts food on my table, provides me shelter, and pays my bills I would consider continuing to do this work. I am fatigued and undervalued. I have a history collection of over a decade of video footage I need to sort through, but unfortunately that is time away from keeping up with rent payments. My livelihood must come first and it is soon time for my hiatus. 

Monday August 8, 2022

DL or Down Low is an AAVE term meaning Discreet and Low Profile.

Black Gay Bi Curious Questioning men became a target of the term due to Racism and Homophobia. There is already a term for those who are not Out - it’s called Closeted or In The Closet. The LGBT community even has a National Coming Out Day

DL is a term that has been used in Black communities long before the mainstream culturally appropriated the term  after watching a 2004 special on Oprah. R. Kelly had already written a song about its meaning in 1995 so why was the term being attached to the gay community? Specifically men of color?

The reason is because DL was a way to make White gays feel different and superior to their Black counterparts, as well as project the notion that communities of color are somehow more homophobic than other communities, which is not true.

My flyer went viral on social media with people claiming they would "camp outside" and that society needs to “expose” those attending the event lol. Many of these claims were from people flexing their homophobia. Many women said that they would take their husband back if he cheated on them with a woman, but not if he experimented with a man. Gee... thanks Oprah. 

I ask for your solidarity and support in using DL for its original meaning and context. Simply a chill, low key night of music, food, and drinks. Come together to end Racism and Homophobia. Where that night or event might be is for the universe to decide. 

Thursday April 13, 2022

In the 90's Tupac Shakur was all over the radio and featuring in films like Poetic Justice with Janet Jackson. DMX and Ice Cube were starring in movies with JLo (Anaconda) Jet Li and Aliyah (Romeo Must Die) leading into the early 2000's. Mariah Carey was collaborating with all the rappers. Black people were at the height of fashion with all eyes on Tyra Banks and Naomi Campbell. Eminem had made his mark and all the white kids were appropriating black culture and urban wear (urban is just a politically correct word for Black). What on Earth will the racist pubs do to keep the negroes out? Ah yes, let's put a dress code in place. Make it so only Eurocentric standards of beauty and fashion are allowed in our nightclubs. You've seen it all before - your black friend gets stopped at the door and some excuse is given as to why they are not dressed for church. Meanwhile the White guests are allowed in wearing baggier jeans than the Black person. I won't even get into gender politics because if you were a boy in a dress then forget about it.

After 9/11 it was all about no head scarfs or turbans. If you even looked remotely Muslim, Indian, or Afghan (because religion and all sand negroes are the same right?) then you had better white-it-up and assimilate or else you were escorted out of there before you could even say "world trade center". 

In the 2010's the struggle was real. I had my Vans on (but they looked like sneakers) so I was profiled plenty of times. Skinny jeans and joggers were at the forefront of hip-hop so that meant lose the white t-shirt and chains - put on the polo collar, khaki dress pants, and golf gloves. That is until Tiger Woods was in the media for... never mind, that's another diary entry lol

Long story short, things have gotten better, but not by much. You'll still find plenty of microaggressions out there in the 2020's. Whatever style Black people are trending is never accepted until the rest of society appropriates us. So if you're Black embodying the City Cirls tonight and rocking your extra long finger nails just be on the look out, no matter how many white kids do it on TikTok.

Thursday April 7, 2022

1. DATING APPS - Not only have apps made it easier to meet people online, but many have sent nudes, hooked up, or catfished everyone in their towns proximity. By the time you hit the bars many have already exhausted their name and reputation... yikes. 

2. TYPE CASTING - The focus on aesthetics begun to override music, food, drinks, and entertainment. We all like to be surrounded by our "type", but come on I know you can't be that thirsty? If you're looking we can just plan a sex positive event instead? 

3. RACISM - "We don't play hip-hop music (the number one genre in the world), we have a dress code (against urban fashion), and we only put eurocentric models on the flyers and social media pages because we don't want to attract a certain crowd". This is all just a micro-aggression way of saying No Negroes allowed. Not just the gay bars, the  straight clubs been doing this since forever too.

4. COUNTERPRODUCTIVE - Diversity and Inclusion navigated poorly. Lesbian women, Gay men, and Trans folk face different disparities. If your bar is open multiple days a week why not have different nights honoring the needs of each demographic? 

5. DRAG - Relax, we respect Drag! However drag has been dragged out. Drag night, drag brunch, drag bingo, drag wars, drag reality tv and viewing parties. Drag fatigue is real. Just saying that sip & paint, open mic, poetry night, art mixers, cookouts, block parties and yes even sports (you ole queen lol) would be nice too. Put some hookah at the bar while you're at. 

6. LACK OF COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT - It's New Years, Martin Luther King Day, Valentine's, St Patrick's, Easter, Memorial Day Weekend, Juneteenth, Father's Day, Cancer Awareness, and Fashion Week, but nothing at the bar is going on.... Trans Day of Visibility, Coming Out Day, World AIDS Day, LGBTQ History Month, and a whole list of national queer days. What special events are being planned to welcome and build community? I guess I'm expecting too much.

Saturday April 9, 2022

Christopher Thomas Schiebel, May 13, 1985 - February 25, 2022

I lost a dearest friend recently and today I attended his memorial. Chris Schiebel has been my only White friend for 18 years. There's a period during adolescence when Black kids realize that our life will be different. As we got older Chris understood that our experience navigating in the world would head down separate paths. However I never felt uncomfortable around him. He gave me room to express my frustrations about racism without taking it as a personal attack. He never gave me the "but not all white people" speech to invalidate my experience. I'm angry that you have been taken away from the world while shitty people live on. My condolences to your family. From short films to creating art together. Playing Super Smash Bros, listening to Linkin Park and Slipknot through good times and bad has meant so much. I'm fearful to enter certain spaces without an ally who understands the responsibility of the "white friend". I miss you already.

Thursday April 7, 2022

The struggle is real. Tonight I went out to celebrate a friend's birthday and I could barely afford my little $27.90 tab. I need a job with insurance and benefits that pays $25 an hour. It would be nice if being an activist paid bills, but unfortunately that is not the case for me. The only thing keeping a roof over my head the passed two years has been sex work.  I'm "Ephraim Adamz" so people assume I don't need help or that I'm doing better than I actually am. It's like they equate financial success to how many followers you have on social media when that is definitely NOT the situation. I'm performing in Brooklyn NY next month (for free, ugh) at The Rosemont. Hopefully I will have saved up enough for a car by the winter.