THE NUANCES OF DL "DOWN LOW"
Monday August 8, 2022
DL or Down Low is an AAVE term meaning Discreet and Low Profile.
Black Gay Bi Curious Questioning men became a target of the term due to Racism and Homophobia. There is already a term for those who are not Out - it’s called Closeted or In The Closet. The LGBT community even has a National Coming Out Day
DL is a term that has been used in Black communities long before the mainstream culturally appropriated the term after watching a 2004 special on Oprah. R. Kelly had already written a song about its meaning in 1995 so why was the term being attached to the gay community? Specifically men of color?
The reason is because DL was a way to make White gays feel different and superior to their Black counterparts, as well as project the notion that communities of color are somehow more homophobic than other communities, which is not true.
My flyer went viral on social media with people claiming they would "camp outside" and that society needs to “expose” those attending the event lol. Many of these claims were from people flexing their homophobia. Many women said that they would take their husband back if he cheated on them with a woman, but not if he experimented with a man. Gee... thanks Oprah.
I ask for your solidarity and support in using DL for its original meaning and context. Simply a chill, low key night of music, food, and drinks. Come together to end Racism and Homophobia. Where that night or event might be is for the universe to decide.
DRESS CODES: MIRROR ON THE WALL WHO'S THE FAIREST OF THEM ALL
Thursday April 13, 2022
In the 90's Tupac Shakur was all over the radio and featuring in films like Poetic Justice with Janet Jackson. DMX and Ice Cube were starring in movies with JLo (Anaconda) Jet Li and Aliyah (Romeo Must Die) leading into the early 2000's. Mariah Carey was collaborating with all the rappers. Black people were at the height of fashion with all eyes on Tyra Banks and Naomi Campbell. Eminem had made his mark and all the white kids were appropriating black culture and urban wear (urban is just a politically correct word for Black). What on Earth will the racist pubs do to keep the negroes out? Ah yes, let's put a dress code in place. Make it so only Eurocentric standards of beauty and fashion are allowed in our nightclubs. You've seen it all before - your black friend gets stopped at the door and some excuse is given as to why they are not dressed for church. Meanwhile the White guests are allowed in wearing baggier jeans than the Black person. I won't even get into gender politics because if you were a boy in a dress then forget about it.
After 9/11 it was all about no head scarfs or turbans. If you even looked remotely Muslim, Indian, or Afghan (because religion and all sand negroes are the same right?) then you had better white-it-up and assimilate or else you were escorted out of there before you could even say "world trade center".
In the 2010's the struggle was real. I had my Vans on (but they looked like sneakers) so I was profiled plenty of times. Skinny jeans and joggers were at the forefront of hip-hop so that meant lose the white t-shirt and chains - put on the polo collar, khaki dress pants, and golf gloves. That is until Tiger Woods was in the media for... never mind, that's another diary entry lol
Long story short, things have gotten better, but not by much. You'll still find plenty of microaggressions out there in the 2020's. Whatever style Black people are trending is never accepted until the rest of society appropriates us. So if you're Black embodying the City Cirls tonight and rocking your extra long finger nails just be on the look out, no matter how many white kids do it on TikTok.
My unapologetic Top 6 reasons why the Queer scene is dead
Thursday April 7, 2022
1. DATING APPS - Not only have apps made it easier to meet people online, but many have sent nudes, hooked up, or catfished everyone in their towns proximity. By the time you hit the bars you've already exhausted your name or ruined your reputation. Yikes, embarrassing.
2. TYPE CASTING - Too much focus on muscle, fat, or femme filtering instead of music, food, drinks, and entertainment. We all like to be surrounded by our "type", but gurl I know you can't be that thirsty? It's a Disco, so if looks are your concern then maybe you should attend a sex party instead?
3. RACISM - "We don't play hip-hop music (the number one genre in the world), we have a dress code against urban fashion, and we only put eurocentric models on the flyers and social media pages because we don't want to attract a certain crowd". This is all just a micro-aggression way of saying No Negroes allowed. Not just the gay bars, the straight clubs been doing this since forever too.
4. COUNTERPRODUCTIVE - Being inclusive doesn't mean safe space isn't sometimes needed. Lesbian women, Gay men, and Trans folk face different disparities. If your bar is open multiple days a week why not have different nights honoring the needs of each demographic? Oh wait, silly me... Lesbians and Trans folk would have to be welcomed at your bar to begin with.
5. DRAG - Relax, we love Drag! Just saying that sip & paint, open mic, poetry night, art mixers, cookouts, block parties and yes even sports (you ole queen lol) would be nice too. Put some hookah at the bar while you're at.
6. LACK OF COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT - It's New Years, Martin Luther King Day, Valentine's, St Patrick's, Easter, Memorial Day Weekend, Juneteenth, Father's Day, Cancer Awareness, and Fashion Week, but nothing at the bar is going on.... Oh wait we're not even honoring Trans Day of Visibility, Coming Out Day, World AIDS Day, LGBTQ History Month, and a whole list of national queer days so I guess I'm expecting too much You only want us around when you're seeking sponsors for Pride weekend.
GONE TOO SOON
Saturday April 9, 2022
Christopher Thomas Schiebel, May 13, 1985 - February 25, 2022
I lost a dearest friend recently and today I attended his memorial. Chris Schiebel has been my only White friend for 18 years. There's a period during adolescence when Black kids realize that our life will be different. As we got older Chris understood that our experience navigating in the world would head down separate paths. However I never felt unsafe around him. He gave me room to express my anger, frustration, and racial trauma without taking it as a personal attack. He never gave me the "but not all white people" speech to invalidate my experience. I'm angry that you have been taken away from the world while shitty people live on. My condolences to your family. From short films to creating art together. Playing Super Smash Bros, listening to Linkin Park, Nelly, Snoop Dogg, and Slipknot through good times and bad has meant so much. I'm scared to move forward in certain spaces without an ally who understands and accepts me. I can't describe how much I will miss you.
Thursday April 7, 2022
The struggle is real. Tonight I went out to celebrate a friend's birthday and I could barely afford my little $27.90 tab. I need a job with insurance and benefits that pays $25 an hour. It would be nice if being an activist paid bills, but unfortunately that is not the case for me. The only thing keeping a roof over my head the passed two years has been sex work. I'm "Ephraim Adamz" so people assume I don't need help or that I'm doing better than I actually am. It's like they equate financial success to how many followers you have on social media when that is definitely NOT the situation. I'm performing in Brooklyn NY next month (for free, ugh) at The Rosemont. Hopefully I will have saved up enough for a car by the winter.